Spiritual Disciplines

This is probably one of the few things that can be turned into the Benjamin Franklin style checklist. For me at least, the best way to think about all of the disciplines is to simply list them, with a small description following each discipline.

There are two broad categories of disciplines. The Disciplines of Abstinence are centered around the question "What am I currently doing, that if I eliminated, would put me in the path of God?" and the Disciplines of Engagement around the question "What am I currently not doing, that if I were doing, would put me in the path of God?"

Disciplines of Abstinence
Solitude: The practice of spending time without any others or any distractions.
Silence: No noise or conversation. Just you and God.
Fasting: Abstain from food, media, entertainment, or anything else that occupies your time.
Frugality: Use your money for purposes outside your own needs for a time.
Chastity: Refers to both physical "purity" (virginity) and moral purity.
Secrecy: Do not allow anyone to know of the deeds you do or the money you give in order to avoid doing them for the wrong motivations. Only God needs to know.
Sacrifice: Stretch your sense of what you can do without for the sake of those who have less.
Self-Control: Controlling feelings, thoughts, and desires and shaping them to honor God.

Disciplines of Engagement
Study: Memorize Scripture and expand your universe of biblical study helps.
Worship: Engage in corporate worship and include worship in your own prayer time.
Celebration: Practice being grateful and thankful both in your own relationship with Christ and with other believers. Express encouragement and thankfulness to others.
Service: Give your time to the church and/or to others. Ponder tithing your time.
Prayer: Take deliberate steps to pray regularly and with purpose. Praying through the Psalms is a good way to increase your “prayer vocabulary.”
Fellowship: Hebrews 10:25, “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
Confession: Practice confessing your sins to trusted people who will pray with you and be spiritual allies.
Submission: Submit to the proper people in the proper ways—fight against the sin of pride.
Guidance: Seeking counsel, wisdom, and encouragement from a discipler/mentor.
Humility: Seeking to put others first, and being humble in all we do.
Meditation: Constantly thinking about, pondering, and praying over the Word of God as you go about your day.
Reflection: Carefully consider and think about what God is teaching you.
Servanthood: Serving others with my daily life, without expecting anything in return.

These were compiled from many different sources, some of which are online, some of which aren't. I'm going to spend some more time thinking about what each of these means practically in my daily life, and how to best carry it out.

One interesting thing that I read was that we should consider tithing our time as well as our money. If I gave God 2.4 hours of my day, every day, what would that look like?

Frugality and Stewardship

These two are related in my mind, so I'm just going to do one post about them. The frugality thing is pretty simple. Make my budget, stick to it, save as much as I can, and don't buy things I don't need. It is really more a matter of self-discipline than anything else. A couple of practical things I can do to help in this area are:

• Making a list of the things I want, and waiting a month to buy them. If I still want them then, its probably ok to buy.
• Using coupons when I grocery shop.
• Taking the bus more, instead of driving everywhere.

The stewardship thing, especially as it relates to my time, is a bit trickier. I've always felt, to a certain extent, that "normal" didn't apply to me in some areas. I don't need a whole lot of sleep. I'm perfectly fine pulling continual 18 hour days. I love to help, and give, and there doesn't seem to be a limit on that outflow. Yes, I have bad days. Yes, sometimes I hate it. But in general, it doesn't seem to be hurting me. I'm torn between what everyone tells me (oh, you need time for yourself. You need more sleep. You need to rest) and what I feel (6 hours of sleep is perfect, less is fine. I like helping people, and while I can, and do, say no, it isn't something I like doing).

I've never been quite sure how all of those verses that talk about peace, and rest, and being still fit into my life. I know that there has to be a balance somewhere, but I'm not sure where it is.

I know people who take the need to rest idea waaaaaay too far. They fall into the selfish/lazy category. I definitely don't want to be there. But I also know people who fall into the complete workaholic category, and that, in and of itself, is also a form of selfishness and laziness. Selfishness, because they are only thinking of themselves, and their work schedules, and the things that they want, and lazy, because they aren't willing to work at changing the thing that they struggle with.

I was on the phone with a friend last night, and as he and I were talking, the subject of materialism came up. We talked about it for probably 30 minutes. As I was thinking through that conversation, I realized something. The older I get, and the more I study, the more convinced I am that we make Christianity far more complex than it has to be. I think, in its essentials, it all comes down to two things.

1. Does this ______ have correct motivation?
2. Does this ______ allow for moderation?

Thats it. Because if we are always focused on being like Christ (our motivation), then everything we do will be passed through the right filter. But, I know for myself, I can take even that the wrong way sometimes, and that is where the second part comes in.

I believe that it is honoring to Christ to have a job, and get good grades, and spend time with Christian friends, and spend time with non-Christian friends, and be on the debate team, and volunteer at church, and be involved with the local homeschool group, and mentor teenage girls, and teach piano lessons, and spend time by myself. I think that in and of themselves, there is nothing wrong with any of those things. The problem, for me, comes in when I start to forget the moderation part.

I think that moderation can look different to every person. Some people are capable of more, some people are capable of less. This is both a blessing and a curse. The diversity of God's People is incredible! But this also means that there is no checklist.

So, in practical terms, where does this leave me? Should I make sure that I get X hours of sleep every night, spend X hours on homework, and be absolutely positive that I'm spending X hours every day just sitting in quiet? No. I think that is getting overly legalistic, impossible to carry out, and most importantly, is missing the heart issue entirely.

I think that I need to be more aware of seeking God, purposefully and intentionally, in this area. I need to learn to give up my own stubborness, and allow God to show me where He will use me, and what my limits are. I also struggle a great deal with guilt when I take "me time," and that probably isn't a healthy reaction either.

I need to be more intentional, deliberate, and consistent about how I use my quiet time. Yes, I read my Bible, yes I journal, yes I pray... But I think that there is so much more possibility out there that I am missing. This one is tied in with the spiritual disciplines that I'm also planning on working on. But for now, stewardship is simply letting go of MY drive to do the things that I think are important so that I can make sure that MY abilities are utilizied in the way that I think is best. And learning to rely completely on God's plan, God's time, and resting in God's peace.

I also think that it is important to have accountability in place. It is VERY easy for me to push myself to the very edge of anything that is decent, reasonable, and healthy. Physically and emotionally. I'm asking, as the people who are nearest to me, that you hold me accountable. Don't let me do things simply because I think that they should be done, and I'm the only one who can do them. But at the same time, don't let me take the easy road out, and say no to the things that God is calling me to say yes to. Let me combine my Mary and my Martha.

If only it were as easy to do as it was to type...

The Search for Joy

This is a sermon that I heard several years ago, and thought it was good enough to hunt down the transcript. I thought about taking the ideas here, and re-writing them, but Earl Palmer does a better job than I could. It is a little longer than what I normally post here, but well worth the time to read.



We know that faith, hope and love in Christian faith must not be dependent upon our feelings. We must trust in God and our Lord Jesus Christ. We must love our neighbor and ourselves. We must keep hope alive even when we do not feel emotional support, otherwise these great and true and reliable building blocks will always be on-again and off-again realities tied to the turbulent, water-surface conditions of our feelings and our moods. But be careful not to go too far with this.

There is one great word in the vocabulary of the Bible that is a word full of meaning and full of feeling. It's the word joy. This word shows how faith, hope and love cause very strong and good feelings in us. Now, what does the word joy mean in the Bible and what does it mean for us today?

Let me read to you three sentences in the New Testament where the word joy is used. One is in the Gospel of John. In the Thursday night discourse, our Lord says this to his disciples, "You have sorrow now, but you will see me again. Your hearts will rejoice. No one may take your joy from you. Hitherto you ask nothing in my name. Ask and you will receive, that your joy may be full." That's the 16th Chapter of John.

Then James, the bishop of Jerusalem, writes in his remarkable Book of James, "Count it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you meet various trials, for you know the testing of your faith produces steadfastness, and steadfastness, when it is complete, has its full effect and fulfills your life."

Finally, Paul in his Letter to the Philippians writes, "Therefore my brothers and sisters whom I love and long for, my joy and my crown, stand firm thus in the Lord." And then a little later he says, "Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I say rejoice." In each case, this is the word joy. "Let all people know your forbearance, the Lord is nearby."

Now in each of these cases the word joy is used. Now what is the word and what does it mean? The word in Greek, chara, is the root word for another great word in the New Testament that the apostle Paul uses and as one of his love vocabulary words, charis, or as translated into English, grace. The word probably really means surprise gift. Then if you take the little eu, which is a prefix in Greek, and add it before the chara, it becomes another important word in the New Testament, thanksgiving -- eucharist. So here we have a very important word in the New Testament -- joy, grace, thanksgiving. They're all words that have their root from the word joy, surprise gift.

I think it's C. S. Lewis who helped me the most to understand the New Testament meaning of this word, and he did it in a remarkable little book he called, The Screwtape Letters. Actually, when Lewis wrote it, he created a kind of interesting satirical device. He has a senior devil named Screwtape writing to a junior devil named Wormwood and so you have to reverse some of the things that Screwtape says because he's writing from his point of view -- the enemy is God, and our father below is the Devil. But anyway, in writing to Wormwood, Screwtape makes some comments about joy. Let me read to you from this little book, The Screwtape Letters. As Screwtape is speaking to Wormwood, he says:

I divide the causes of human laughter into joy, fun, the joke proper and flippancy. You will see the first among friends and lovers reuniting on the eve of a holiday. Among adults some pretext in the way of jokes is usually provided, but the facility with which the smallest witticism produces laughter at such a time, shows that that's not the real cause. What the real cause is we do not know. Something like it is expressed in much of that detestable art which the humans call music, and something like it occurs in heaven.

And now here Screwtape gives his definition of joy, A meaningless acceleration in the rhythm of celestial experience, quite opaque to us. Then he goes on to explain that, Laughter of this kind does us no good and should always be discouraged. Besides the phenomena is of itself disgusting and a direct insult to the realism, dignity and austerity of hell.

This is Screwtape's definition, but listen, you have to reverse some of Screwtape's words. Screwtape calls it, a meaningless acceleration... That means the real definition of joy is it's a meaningful acceleration. In the eyes of evil, it's meaningless, but in the eyes of God it's a meaningful acceleration in the rhythm, Lewis calls it, of celestial experience. In the rhythm of our experience with God's character. That's what he means by that. It's quite opaque to the devil, quite opaque to evil. It can't understand it.

I think Lewis has helped us to understand joy. Joy is a meaningful acceleration in the rhythm of our relationship and our understanding of God. Well, let's think about that for a minute. I think his definition gets a hold of what we've seen in these three texts. Joy is a surprise gift. It's an experience of meaningful rhythmic acceleration. That's why there are strong feelings that go with joy. It's exuberant sometimes, but also profoundly quiet and peaceful. Notice they're both together. He calls it an acceleration that's rhythmic. Also, joy is a surprise gift given to us and in us as a taste of the experience we have with the character of God. He calls it a taste of what celestial experience will be like. It's an advance look of what heaven will be like. Joy, in other words, is an experience of God's character. And then three, evil cannot understand joy. It's a baffling experience to evil. Screwtape does not understand it. That's why he calls it this meaningless acceleration. He doesn't understand it. It's opaque to him. It's baffling to evil and evil cannot stop it, and this is what Lewis says.

Well, now, I have a question to ask. When is it that we experience this joy? Where are the places where we experience joy? Well, I would like to make three reflections on that. First, it happens in fellowship. In fact, Lewis began his whole definition of joy that way. He says, You will see joy on the eve of a reunion. It happens in fellowship with brothers and sisters who also have experienced joy, and from a Christian point of view, what Paul says in Philippians helps us to understand that kind of joy. He says to the Philippians -- I love the way he puts it -- Therefore my beloved, my brothers and sisters whom I love, who I long for, my joy and my crown. The word for crown that he uses here is the same word used for an athletic crown. It is like saying to the Philippians, you are my gold medal. You are the crown for me. You are a joy to me. And this is what joy is. It's an experience; it's a fellowship that we have with brothers and sisters.

Secondly, another thing about joy in the New Testament is that it happens at odd and awkward times. That's how I understand the James passage. James says, Count it all joy when you meet various trials because the trials of your life prove the durability and the faithfulness of God's goodness. James was one of the early martyrs in the Christian church and he knows about stress, and he is saying that in the midst of that stress, he experiences joy. It's an awkward time. It's a time when you wouldn't expect to have joy, and yet James is saying he has it because in that experience of trial he is discovering the faithfulness and the goodness of God. James is experiencing joy at an awkward time. I don't know if you have had that experience, a time when you wouldn't expect to have joy. You don't expect to have the meaningful acceleration you do when, in a time of stress, you discover that God is faithful and His faithfulness and durability is validated to you.

And also there is a third. It happens, I suppose, in the profoundest sense, when I discover the faithfulness of Jesus Christ myself, and His fellowship with me, and that's how I understand the John 16 passage. This is in the Thursday night of Holy Week and Jesus Christ is saying to His disciples that, Now you have sorrow, but you will experience joy and the joy comes with my fellowship with you. You're with me and no one can take that joy away from you. It's your experience. It's an experience that I give to you and no one can take it from you. And so we experience joy, joy as an exuberance. That's how I understand this use of the word acceleration. It's an exuberance. We have strong feelings about our joy, and yet there is a sense of peacefulness about it. I love the way Paul completes that great 4th Chapter of Philippians when he says, Rejoice in the Lord always. Again, I say rejoice. Let all people know your forbearance -- actually the Greek word here, epikas, means mellowness, your gentleness -- the Lord is nearby. Then he goes on to say, Have no anxiety about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known to God and the peace of God which passes all understanding will garrison (or guard) your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

And so we see this peaceful kind of joy as an acceleration, and yet it's a peacefulness. It's a joy that happens because of reunion, of fellowship. It's a joy that happens at awkward times and it's a joy that happens because we're in the presence of God, in the presence of Christ in His faithfulness.

That third one intrigues me the most. When I discover that God's love for me is there and I can count on it, that He cares for me, and that that is a bedrock fact of my life, then I experience joy.

Imagine you're going to a party. Have you ever been to a party where you look around the room and see all the various foods they have? Maybe over here at a table you see some of your very favorite foods. Some shrimp? That's something I like. Maybe in a nice display around ice, and then maybe some smoked salmon and then, of course, all the other things are in this great buffet. And you walk in. Have you ever had that experience where you kind of look around the room and see all the things that are there?

Over on the dessert table you see one of your very favorite things, Siberian peach pie. You decide to skip the carrots and the celery and the potato chips and make a beeline. They only have a small plate, so you go over to the shrimp table and start taking the shrimp right away because you want to get them before all the greedy people come. You take some shrimp, and you're eating them while you're standing there, piling them up on your plate. You go over to the salmon, skipping all those other things, cauliflower and all that, and then maybe run over to the pie and get that before others get it, and you're just filling your plate.

And now something surprising happens. The hostess comes up to you and says, "Ah, you came to the party. I'm so glad you came to the party. I wanted you to come to this party so much, and oh, by the way, Earl, I know that you love shrimp. That's why I had them at the party. I know you love them, and I know you like salmon. It is one of the reasons I had salmon here today. I know you like it. Oh, and look at over there, Siberian peach pie. Your very favorite. Earl, when you leave today, would you go by the kitchen? I have had them put aside a whole plateful of shrimp, and there is also some salmon there, and I've got a whole Siberian peach pie for you when you leave. Be sure to stop by and get it would you, Earl?"

Now let me ask you a question, when this hostess has said that to you, now what do you do at the party? You walk over to the celery, you get some celery, some carrots. You say to other people, "Hey, you must try this shrimp. They're marvelous. Be sure to try the Siberian peach pie." I mean, you feel so generous. It's a generosity that has happened in your life. Why is it? It could be described as a joy that has come to your life. Why? Because you discovered that the hostess really cares about your fulfillment, cares about your joy and I think that's what the disciples are discovering in the 16th Chapter. Jesus says, I know you're having sorrow now, but you are going to have joy. No one can take it from you because I'm going to be with you. And when that occurs to me, when I realize that, it sets me free and that freedom in the New Testament is called joy.

Interview with Earl Palmer
Interviewed by Bud Knoedler

Bud Knoedler: Earl, thank you for being with us today. I especially enjoyed your references to C. S. Lewis. He is a household word these days with the Hollywood film "Shadowlands" having been recently given to us. As you understand C. S. Lewis, and I know he's one of your favorites, what would C. S. Lewis have to say today, Earl, to our Western culture and its frequent reliance on sex and drugs and alcohol in this search for joy that you talked about.

Earl Palmer: Well, joy is a very big word for Lewis. When he wrote his autobiography of the shape of his early life, he called it "Surprised By Joy." That was the big discovery, one of the tremendous big discoveries of Lewis's life. He was very interested also in our intoxication or addiction to, you might say, false searches. He had an interesting line. He said, "The modern man/woman has had an ever-increasing appetite for ever-decreasing pleasure." That's the way he described the problem of filling our lives with things that don't really substantially meet the need and the search we have for joy. There is a universal search for joy.

Another great Lewis quote is that "Joy is the serious business of heaven. It's the grand truth. It's the surprise that happens when we discover God's love." And so Lewis there's a sense in which he's always trying to focus us on the great truth, the great center of God's love revealed in Christ, and I guess that would be the answer to the person that is tempted to try to find other things to fill that void.

A Small Checklist

As the kickoff date of August 1st is coming ever closer, I've been mentally struggling with how I'm actually going to take on this whole chapter. I guess that I have divided it down into 4 categories in my mind. There are the Spiritual issues, character issues, physical issues, and the more tangible issues. Obviously, the physical and tangible issues will be the easiest to deal with.

I think that the spiritual issues come down to this: She was disciplined, in managing herself and her household. She was God-fearing, and she was wise. It could also be a part of this category that she knew that she was a rare and precious child of God, but I think that isn't so much a part of this study right now.

Character issues include her trustworthiness, kindness, enterprising spirit, good stewardship, diligence, compassion, and preparedness.

Things that are more tangible (although probably motivated by the Spirit, and developed character) are her joy in working, her frugality, and here generosity.

Finally, in the physical realm, she is elegant and poised, but she also sounds like a pretty energetic and fit kind of woman (verse 17, anyone?).

For me, there are several things from that list that jump out immediately. Having joy, even when I am working, doesn't always happen in my life. If I'm not careful, I can overspend my budget, and that doesn't always lend itself to frugality, or being a good steward. I'm also not a very good steward with my time. It isn't that I don't get everything done, it is that I commit myself to too much stuff, and I get burnt out/sick/am physically unable to do everything. I also struggle with various types of spiritual disciplines, and I'm certainly not girded with strength, and equipped with strong arms. So that area needs work.

Of course, there is room for improvement in every single one of these areas, but those five areas need the most work.

In summary, the first areas that will be attacked are:

1. Joy
2. Frugality
3. Stewardship
5. Spiritual disciplines
4. Being physically fit

and I'll spend the next five posts going into more details about my goals for these areas over the next 40 days.

Conversations

We've probably all heard it many times,

"The most important part of a relationship is the communication."

If you can't effectively communicate, there isn't a whole lot of hope. This takes work, diligence, and patience. It's an art. And it's certainly not something that you learn overnight or master in a week. This is an on-going lifetime process.

My husband and I have decent communication. As with many marriages, we have our times where it breaks down but for the most part, I feel like I can get my point across without too much weeping and gnashing of teeth. This whole overhaul thing in our lives right now is helping improve our communication as well.

Twice this week, we have sat down and discussed things in detail. These could range from spiritual matters to finances. We have discussed it all in the past 10 days. During one such conversation, I opened up my Bible study to him. I talked to him about what I was reading, about how I perceived it, about the things that I felt I needed to change. It's one thing for me to do a self-evaluation. After all, I could be lying to myself. I could give myself an eight and he thinks I'm really a four.

I must admit, I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation Tuesday night. As we walked through the things that I have learned in my study thus far, it was really nice to have encouragement about the things I was doing right. It was also nice to have constructive criticism about the things he perceived as issues. Why shouldn't he have an opinion or a say when what I'm working on? Everything I'm learning will effect him more than anyone else.

Needless to say, it was very productive and enjoyable. As we sat and prayed together on the couch, I was reminded again just how much I love that man. He could have been very destructive and tore me apart because heaven knows, I'm far from perfect! Instead, everything he said was softly spoken with love.

Communication is vitally important. You can be blessed as we were or bruised and battered. Thankfully it was the former. The growth that I've seen in just the last 10 days has been phenomenal. It's amazing the blessings that God will give us if we just try seeking His face!

Proverbs 31 - an overview, Part II

Here is the second overview of Proverbs 31 that has really impressed me. I like how it gives a macro and a micro view of the passage.

Also, here and here is a two part application of Proverbs 31 that is quite excellent. Please take some time to read them over.

To see this chart in its original setting, click here.

The Proverbs 31 Woman :
10An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. rare, precious 11The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. trustworthy 12She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. kind	Her Character as a Wife
13She looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight. works joyfully 14She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. goes extra mile to get choicest goods 15She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens. disciplined 16She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard. enterprising, prudent with money 17She girds herself with strength And makes her arms strong. energetic 18She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at night. good steward 19She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp the spindle. diligent	Her Devotion as a Homemaker
20She extends her hand to the poor, And she stretches out her hands to the needy. compassionate, generous	Her Generosity as a Neighbor
21She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet. provider 22She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. elegant 23Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. influential 24She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen. industrious	Her Devotion as a Homemaker
25Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future. poised 26She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. wise	Her Influence as a Teacher
27She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. manages her home 28Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: praiseworthy 29"Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all." distinguished	Her Effectiveness as a Mother
30Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. God-fearing 31Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates. honored	Her Excellence as a Person
~ Proverbs 31:10-31

Enriching?

Proverbs 31:11 says, "Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life."

Enriching is defined by Dictionary.com as:

to make fuller, more meaningful, or more
rewarding.

Proverbs 31 calls us to enrich our husbands lives. So how would we go about doing that? What can I do to make Daniel's life fuller, more meaningful and more rewarding? I can work with him instead of against me. I can show him my appreciation for all that he does. I can consistantly remind him of the blessing that he is in my life. I can be an encourager.

As I'm sitting in my QT, ponder what this means, it makes me realize just how often I fail. God has given me the gift of encouragement. I am more than willing to use it for my mom as she is going through the Police Academy. I use it with friends when they have things going on in their lives. I use it with family members when they have things come up. Gosh, I even use it with perfect strangers.

All too often though, I forget to use my gift with the one person that loves me most, the person that I will be spending the rest of my life with. The person that I live with and who needs my encouragement the most. The man that I love more than any one else on this planet, in this world.

Why is it so often easier to be nice to strangers than it is to the people with which we live? That's just wrong! I should be kinder to Daniel than to anyone else. I should be more encouraging and uplifting with matters in his life over anyone else.

So here's my pledge. In my process of becoming a P31 woman, I will start by enriching my husband's life. While this exceeds just encouragement, I will start there.

The Race That is Set Before Us

I came across this email that I sent to a friend a few weeks ago. It was a rather good reminder for me, as I am struggling with getting bogged down in the details of life, and I thought it was worth posting here.

Things were a little different than normal tonight. Mr C (the youth pastor) had asked Josh to speak tonight, just to mix things up a little bit. Josh's delivery wasn't perfect -- he was pretty nervous... But what he said impacted me a great deal. It was fairly simple, what he said... He was talking about goals, and how we need to have a goal for our lives, a general direction we are going in. Not only do we need to have a goal, we need to think about how it effects our lives right now. And most importantly, we need to think about how it draws people to Christ. He used the analogy of C.S. Lewis. There was a tool shed that he walked into one day, and the shed was all dark, except for this one, beautiful, focused beam of light. As he walked closer to the light though, he lost sight of it, because the beam was lost in the greater light of the sun. When he turned around, the beam of light, as an extension of the greater light, was shining on all of the tools that he needed to complete a job.

The general idea is, each of our goals should be so intimately connected with God that when people look at them closer, all they see is God. And when we are so focused on God that we become that much a part of Him, He will show us the tools that we need. After youth group was over, he and I sat down at had a rather long conversation. Part of it was completely ridiculous, as is our want.... But the other part of it was really serious, and good.

I've also been thinking quite a lot since Wednesday.... This past week is the kind of thing that will shake a person up a bit...

Basically, I've concluded that my goals are just that... Mine. Sure, I couch them in great, Godly terms... And there is nothing inherently wrong with them. But I always find an idea, and stick it through to the bitter end. Like with music... I don't regret my time at Franklin. It definitely served a purpose... But I don't know that I should have ever been a music major. Like, even then, I don't know that I loved it enough, or in the right way to pursue it on that level. But, I was a musician, and there simply wasn't any other option. Everything had to work out just the way that I had planned it, because after all, I had figured out God's plan for my life.

The same thing with Kenya... I still don't know what God has for me there, if anything... But, I had it all worked out. I had exact details. I had my version of events, and if anyone suggested anything otherwise, it almost offended me. That's not good.

I'm a pretty spontaneous person, but I always have the major pieces in place, and I'm ok with changing small things, as long as the big pieces stay exactly where I've put them. So, I've built my entire life around these basically meaningless pieces. That was one of the first mistakes. My goals had to work out my way, or else I had failed. And failure is an acute feeling in my life. It isn't something I feel frequently, and it isn't something I want to feel frequently... But it has become a goal in and of itself. To do something, and do it well. Not just do it well. Exceed expectations. All of that. Going to school. Taking more credit hours. Working more. Getting better grades. Having a Plan all worked out. All of that. Those were goals, because I couldn't fail.

My second mistake is that all of my goals deal with things that are pretty far in the future. Naturally, goals have to give you something in the future to work towards. But this was just ridiculous. Because, every single goal started with "when I am done with the whole college thing..." and I have been wishing away myy life, waiting for the moment when it will really begin. That is faulty thinking. God placed me in this stage right now for a reason. I should value each moment, each lesson, and each experience of it. I shouldn't be counting down the days until my real life will begin, and I can start living in the real world...

Even when it comes to boys, my thinking has been very flawed. I still stand by what I said this afternoon. He needs to have a bit of the dashing hero in him. I need to be pursued, and he needs to be strong enough that I will submit to him. But on some level, I have always thought that my life was incomplete without a boy... Not incomplete... That's the wrong word. Maybe that I was limited in what I could do as a single person. So, I've made it a goal to find a nice boy, who has the exact same plan as I do, with the same number of children from the same countries, who has the exact same vision for his future that I do. Again, this is my idea of my ideal man in my ideal plan in my ideal life. There is something wrong with this picture.

Nothing in any of those goals reflects Christ. They aren't so much a part of Him that, upon closer examination, they get lost in Him. That needs to change. I'm not ready to be in a relationship with a boy. I don't have my relationship with Christ where it needs to be. I don't need to figure out the Plan for my life, because I haven't spent enough time consulting with the Master Planner.

Since Wednesday, I have spent 48 hours contemplating a life without my two goals... No music, and no Africa. It was a scary, and bleak place. I'm not saying that I should have been perfectly fine with it from the moment I heard, and never doubted... But it shouldn't have scared me beyond any feeling I have ever had before, because if God took away those two things, then I had nothing else in my life. That is wrong. My goal, first and foremost, should be to be that sunbeam. It should be to get so lost in Christ, that when people see me, they seen an extension of Him. And the "goals", the whats of my life, should be the tools that that sunbeam is shining on. They should be illuminated by Christ. They shouldn't be the source.

So many times in the Bible, it uses the imagery of running a race. Josh and I spent a large amount of time talking about that tonight. Especially with the Olympics coming up, it was incredibly relevant to both of us. When you are training for an Olympic event, you sacrifice EVERYTHING. Your even becomes your sole focus. Everything else fades away, unless it can help you accomplish that one goal of running the race. Everything extraneous, everything cumbersome is shed away, and not picked up again. The athlete does everything possible to run that race, to accomplish that one single goal -- running as quickly as they can, and winning the race.

What would my life be like if I spent that kind of energy and dedication on one single goal? and what if that one single goal was becoming a sunbeam, that upon closer examination, gets so completely lost in the source... How would my life change? What kinds of extraneous and cumbersome things would I find myself dropping along the way? How would my training regimen change in order to qualify for the Olympics, and run that race with everything in me?

THAT needs to be my goal... And once the sunbeam is able to shine, the tools will be there, illuminated by the perfect reflection of the Son. I need to stop noticing all of the other runners, and where they are in their race. I need to stop trying to beat my own personal best, and just focus on running the race.

So I guess the significant things right now are: Giving up on Kenya... Maybe not forever, but giving up my future plans so that God will be free to do what He chooses. Making sure that I don't wish away my present, and miss the work that God has for me here and now. And the biggest thing is that I need to start focusing on becoming more of a sunbeam, and less on finding the proper tools. That means that I need to spend more time with God. I need to be more disciplined about prayer. I need to be more intentional about making that relationship my top priority.

A definition and some thoughts

I've always loved words - big words, small words, obscure words. Languages and communication are something that I have always devoted time to. One of my great downfalls though, is that I read a word, and figure it out from the context, and don't take the time to look it up, and understand what it really means. Or, sometimes there are words that are just so common that I don't ever think it important enough to look them up.

I was doing my quiet time tonight, and I started reading the book of John. I made it through all of six verses. I started thinking about the relationship between God and the Bible, and how intimately they are connected. This led to a look into my own life, and the unfortunate remembrance of all of the times I have not valued Scripture. My mind immediately jumped to the Psalms, and how much they mention meditating on the Word of God.

When I was a child, and I heard people talk about meditating on the Word of God, I always thought they were nuts. After all, meditation was something that you did when you were dressed up in a funny robe, in a dark room lit by lots and lots of candles, after eating an all natural meal that you had grown yourself. It wasn't something that Christians did. I have since come to realize that this isn't the case, but the word "meditate" fell into the category of words that were too common to look up.

So, tonight, I looked up the word. There are two basic types of meditation. There is the type that is thinking, studying, or reflecting on something. But there is also a type of meditation that is a little more practical. It is considering something that you are going to do. It is based in action, and it is a verb with an object.

I did a search of the Bible to see how the word meditate was used in there. There were quite a few results, but these were some of the more compelling ones to me personally.

Joshua 1:8
This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have success.

Psalm 27:4-5
One thing I have asked from the LORD, that I shall seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the LORD
And to meditate in His temple.
For in the day of trouble He will conceal me in His tabernacle;
In the secret place of His tent He will hide me;
He will lift me up on a rock.

Psalm 119:26-28
I have told of my ways, and You have answered me;
Teach me Your statutes.
Make me understand the way of Your precepts,
So I will meditate on Your wonders.
My soul weeps because of grief;
Strengthen me according to Your word.

Psalm 119: 147-148
I rise before dawn and cry for help;
I wait for Your words.
My eyes anticipate the night watches,
That I may meditate on Your word.

We are supposed to constantly meditate on God's word, day and night, and to long for it so much that it is the first thing we think about in the morning, and the last thing at night. We are supposed to meditate in God's house, and we are supposed to meditate on God's wonders.

Especially with something like Proverbs 31, it will be very easy for me to get caught up in following that checklist of sorts. I could easily fall into the Benjamin Franklin system, and make a chart with a check box for each characteristic and each day, and work to be able to check them all off. But that isn't what it is about. In order to truly have lasting change, I think that I need to realize that meditation is going to be so much important.

If I don't hide God's Word in my heart, and if I don't meditate on Him like the Bible talks about, then I'm going to be stuck in the exact same rut I am now, with different spiritual names to put on it. This change has to come from the inside, and the only way to do that is to transform my thinking. And doing a little more meditation is probably not a bad place to start.

Proverbs 31 - an overview

I have been trying to fully and completely understand exactly what it is that Proverbs 31 is saying, before I spend 40 days implementing those principles in my life. I've been starting with what some other people have said, and I have found two that are particularly helpful. I wanted to share one overview today. I found this on the website of Nancy Rowley. She is a pastor's wife, and she has written a complete study on Proverbs 31. I look forward to reading all of it, but here is her overview.

A Brief Summary Of Proverbs 31:10-30

10 - rare, precious	17 - energetic	24 - enterprising
11 - trustworthy, treasures	18 - discerning	25 - poised, prepared
12 - beneficial	19 - industrious	26 - wise, gracious
13 - earnest	20 - benevolent	27 - careful, active
14 - foresighted	21 - provident	28 - praiseworthy
15 - diligent	22 - elegant	29 - distinguished
16 - prudent, progressive	23 - influential	30 - Godly
		31 - honored

Those are some pretty big words. But it is helpful to see them all listed out like that. Maybe it will prove helpful to you too.

Some good reminders

It was a long day today. At my restaurant, we had almost 2000 visitors today. There were three managers from two different departments who kept coming down and trying to change the way that we were doing things. My assistant cook was in a bad mood because of all of this and he spent a good portion of the day sulking. There were two other employees who were working down in my kitchen, plus me. And then there were three cashiers. It was a really stressful day. In the midst of all of this, we had two volunteers.

There was a guy from Milwaukee who was here with his little sister. She wanted to come spend a weekend volunteering at the museum for her high school graduation present. Jake spent some time in my kitchen.

It was really interesting to watch this mix of people and stress and busy-ness. The managers were all yelling at each other. Most of the employees (myself included) were not as nice as we could have been to each other.

But the volunteers... Because of training/board of health regulation issues, when we have volunteers in the kitchen, their days are pretty boring. They get stuck doing dishes, busing tables, and breaking down boxes. All. Day. Long. But the volunteers were really happy to be there. They had a great attitude. They worked hard. They laughed. It was a completely different attitude from the employees.

So what does any of this have to do with being a Proverbs 31 woman? Well, as I started thinking about it, I realized that attitude makes so much difference in the way that we approach life. If I look at this in a "oh, I have to do this" kind of way, and I drudge through, I'm not going to be a very happy person, and most of the people around me won't be very happy either.

I guess this is really similar to being filled with joy even in the midst of trials that the Bible talks about so much. I'm still processing exactly what this means, but I think that I need to focus a lot on my attitude in all of this, rather than a checklist.

Especially after you've done something for awhile, it can start to get mired in routine, and it is so easy to lose sight of the goal of doing that in the first place. The museum is a really cool place to work. I'm blessed to have some really great coworkers, and a generally great atmosphere in my kitchen. Even though I knew that, I think that my actions have sometimes shown that I didn't really recognize it.

It is my hope that I will be able to maintain a sense of wonder throughout my 40 days, and that I will be able to always approach this study and path of transformation with a fresh heart, and a life that is open for God's work. And I hope that God continues to place people like those volunteers in my life to keep that goal always before me.

Purposeful Pursuit

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Proverbs 31:10-31 describes the ideal woman and it culminates in verse 30, quoted above. This woman was amazing in so many ways, but at the end it doesn't say, "a diligent woman is to be praised" or "the faithful homemaker is to be praised". Although those things were invaluable, the summary shows us that the "Proverbs 31 woman" had her eyes focused on God.

Ariel, Sarah & I are studying this passage and writing this blog because it is our desire to make every area of our lives revolve around Christ alone, and we want to encourage and challenge one another along the way. Ariel writes from a married woman's perspective, and Sarah from a single woman's perspective. Let me tell you a little of who I am and how God has been challenging my heart in this area.

My name is Kristi, and I am 20 years old. Recently, I had the privilege of beginning a dating relationship. It is exciting and wonderful and challenging. Furthermore, it has made me examine my heart and evaluate my focus. Where will I seek satisfaction? Whom will I seek to please? My initial answer is "Christ, of course!" but then I look at my life and and must honestly ask myself: how does my life, my actions, my thoughts answer that question?

In his commentary on the virtuous woman, Matthew Henry writes, "This description let all women daily study, who desire to be truly beloved and respected, useful and honourable."

So, here we are, studying and praying and writing as the three of us together seek to learn what it means to keep Christ first by being a woman of virtue. Being this way doesn't come naturally for anyone. It must come by purposefully, passionately pursuing knowing Christ and living as a woman who will honor Him.

The title of this blog, "At the Center of the Storm" is appropriate. Storms have a way of revealing what we cling to, trust in, and most value. They can also be distracting. Marriage, dating, singleness - they are different storms with different distractions. Whatever, the storm, however, there is only One to whom we can cling with absolute certainty and hope..."looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted." (Hebrews 12:2-3)

Why 40 days?

So why am I devoting 40 days to this project? They say it takes three weeks to develop a new habit. Why not 21? Since I'm starting on August 1st, why not finish on August 31st, and move to the next project? The Bible mentions the number forty time and time again. When I ran a Bible search, there were over 100 results. There are several categories that I think this can be split into.

The number 40 is associated with punishment.
Noah's flood rained for 40 days and 40 nights.
God gave the Israelites to the Philistines for 40 years.
Goliath taunted the Israelite army for 40 days before David killed him.
Ninevah was given 40 days to repent after Jonah preached there.

It is also a number associated with rest.
Two times, Moses went up on the mountain and spent 40 days with God.
Several times throughout the reigns of the kings and judges, there were 40 years of peace.
David reigned for 40 years.
Solomon reigned for 40 years.
Elijah had the strength from 1 meal to go for 40 days to Mt. Horab.
After Jesus rose from the dead, He spent 40 days with his disciples before He ascended.

It was associated with mercy.
In the Old Testament, the Law said that a guilty man should be beaten, but that he could not be beaten more than 40 times.

It was a number of testing.
Jesus spent 40 days fasting and praying in the wilderness, and was there tempted by Satan.

While the number 40 is certainly prevalent throughout the Bible, it is the last reason that draws me to this time frame. If Jesus thought it was important enough to set aside 40 days to pray, meditate, and prepare himself, then that seems like a good number to me.

So, 40 days of praying, meditating on God's ideal for me, and striving to grow into that ideal it will be.

Rubies

"Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?

She is worth more than precious rubies."

Proverbs 31:10

To begin my study, I had planned on writing down all the attributes of a Proverbs 31 woman and then defining them individually. As I started last night.... "Virtuous... capable... more valuable than rubies..." From the first two verses I had about eight or nine qualities. As is my habit, I read over what I'd already done. Seeing as I had several to work with, I started in to define them. The first one was "more valuable than rubies."

Because I have a curious mind, I looked into the value of rubies. They have been the world's most valued gemstone for thousands of years and have been called "king of precious stones." They dominate the market when it comes to the highest per Carat prices, surpassing all other gemstones including diamonds. Rubies are more valuable and rare than even the top quality colorless diamonds. They have sold for as much as $4 million dollars! A pretty valuable piece of stone!

So what does that mean for me? What can I learn from it? Rubies are heirlooms. In the hands of a daughter or granddaughter, they become priceless, something that they wouldn't part with for any amount of money. They have meaning beyond the monetary, something that could never be replaced. Does my husband see me this way? Am I living my life in such away to encourage such thoughts? Or just the opposite? Do I nag? Or am I patient? Am I irreplaceable to him? What do I need to change to be so?

And what does this mean in relation to God? This is what staggered me. The reason I didn't continue on. "More precious than rubies." I am God's heirloom, His priceless treasure. It doesn't matter if I am scratched, dented, or filthy. He will always pick me up, clean me off, and cherish me. I mean something to Him, unavailable for purchase, valuable beyond measure. He loves me. It doesn't matter how horribly I mess up, He loves me. It wouldn't matter if I were the ugliest person on the planet, He loves me. It doesn't matter how far I've fallen, He still loves me.

How amazing to be able to rest in that love. Finding peace there knowing that even when I see myself as the scum of the earth, God knows I'm worth more than a $4 million dollar gemstone. I am more precious to Him than rubies. What an amazing God to love me, one messed up woman, despite everything. It's humbling. And it sets the stage for me to try to love Him... Daniel... and others in the same fashion.

A Journey to the Center

And I don't mean to the center of the Earth.

A journey of a more personal nature, a journey to making God the Center of my life. This blog wasn't started in an effort to obtain readers. It's sole purpose is to help keep me accountable to my Blog mates, Sarah and Kristi.

Our purpose is to delve deeper and live louder with Christ as the center of our lives. It is simply too easy to get distracted and lose the focus of what this life is really about. We intend to do this by studying Proverbs 31 and applying it to our lives.

My name is Ariel. I'm almost 23 and have been married for 2 years. My life is pleasantly full and happy. I have a good life. My husband, Daniel, is currently in school with plans to graduate Dec. 2009 or May 2010. We live in a rented home with no animals or children.

Through recent personal reflection and a wake up call from a friend, I have realized that though I have a fabulous life, things are not what they should be. I need an overhaul. And as with anything, you have to start at the top. What should always and forever be at the top of my list is Christ. I need Him back at the center of my life. Everything else will trickle out of my commitment to Him.

My focus will begin with Proverbs 31. I want to gain a better understanding of what this chapter has to say about who I need to be in my marriage. I also want to study what it says about my Marriage with God. From here, I will continue on the vein of marriage in general, God's plans for it and my place in those plans.

I am not alone on this adventure. One of my dearest friends, Sarah, will be traveling a similar journey as it pertains to being single and Married to Christ. Kristi is Sarah's roommate and will be traveling down this path as a woman in a dating relationship. Together, we will strive to allow Christ to take His place in the Center of this storm we call life.

An introduction

I'm Sarah. I'm 22 years old, a senior in college, single, employed as a social services worker and a chef, and preparing to move to Kenya to work in orphanages and schools after I graduate.

God has been working in my life over the past few weeks, and He is really challenging me to make Him my ultimate center, and let everything revolve around Him. I've spent several days praying about this, and one of the ways I'm going to start is by spending 40 days studying Proverbs 31.

That chapter, describing the ultimate goal of Womanhood, is frequently dismissed as merely an ideal at best, or antiquated and anti-feminine at worst. I don't believe that it is either of those things, but rather a goal for us to live up to. So, starting August 1st, I'm going to be consciously attempting to live up to the example of the Proverbs 31 woman.

Why 40 days? That's a significant number in the Bible, and something that I'll go into a little more detail on as I study more.

Why August 1st? I'm moving to a new town then, and it seemed like a good time to start fresh, with a new place, and a new month.

I'm single. Not married. No boyfriends. Not even any potentials. I'm (mostly) content with this. However, since Proverbs 31 is written about a married woman, for the purposes of my study, I'll be considering Christ to be my husband.

I don't know if anyone will actually read this, but it is a good way for me to stay accountable, and to see how God is causing me to grow. Also, I suppose that there is a random chance that someone else would be encouraged, or interested in joining me on August 1st, to spend 40 days making Christ the center of the Storm of life.

I'm joined in this by my dear friend Ariel, who is married, and focusing on Proverbs 31 from that point of view, and one of my roommates, Kristi.